Category: Life Transitions

Safety and Comfort: Building a Stable and Secure Connection

April 15, 2024

In any relationship, whether it be a romantic partnership, friendship, or family bond, safety and comfort are essential foundations for building a strong and lasting connection. Feeling safe with someone means being able to express your true thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment or harm. It involves open communication, honesty, and trust.

Comfort in a relationship goes hand in hand with safety. It means feeling at ease with the other person, being able to be yourself fully, and knowing that you are accepted and loved for who you are. Creating a space of comfort allows both individuals to relax, let their guard down, and truly connect on a deeper level.

When safety and comfort are present in relationships, it fosters a sense of security and stability. It enables both parties to support each other through challenges, celebrate successes together, and navigate life’s ups and downs as a team. Cultivating these qualities requires empathy, respect, and a willingness to understand and support each other’s needs.

Ultimately, prioritizing safety and comfort in relationships lays the groundwork for mutual respect, emotional intimacy, and a sense of belonging that can withstand the test of time. It paves the way for genuine connection, growth, and a shared sense of fulfillment that enriches both individuals’ lives.

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Somatic Experiencing®: Healing Trauma and Stress

April 1, 2024

Recognizing how past traumas and stress affect the body can be a valuable resource in resolving the symptoms of stress and trauma. One of the core tenants of somatic-oriented work is that the body possesses its own wisdom and can lead us towards healing if we listen to it.

Somatic Experiencing® (SE) is a technique that assists individuals in addressing and releasing stored trauma in the body. By focusing on bodily sensations and physical experiences, SE aims to regulate the nervous system and restore a sense of safety and equilibrium. SE commonly includes methods like body scanning, where individuals tune into different body parts to identify tension, and grounding exercises to foster connection and presence in the moment.

Incorporating somatic healing into daily life can be a powerful practice. Simple activities such as mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle stretching can help individuals maintain a connection with their bodies and enhance a feeling of calmness and well-being. By integrating somatic practices into your routine, you can develop a deeper understanding of your body and emotions, promoting resilience and self-care.

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The Power of Connection: Nurturing Adult Friendships

March 25, 2024

Adult friendships are a vital and rewarding part of life, offering support, companionship, and shared experiences. I know what you are thinking, they can be really hard too!  As we navigate the complexities of adulthood, maintaining strong connections with friends can bring joy, laughter, and a sense of belonging but also a mix of other feelings as well.

The need for these relationships at this point in time is so important even with all the feelings that go along with it. These relationships provide a safe space to confide in, seek advice from, and simply relax and enjoy each other’s company. Whether bonding over shared interests, celebrating milestones together, or providing a listening ear during tough times, adult friendships play a significant role in our emotional well-being.

Cultivating these friendships requires effort, communication, and mutual respect, but the bonds formed can last a lifetime. If you got ’em, cherish your adult friendships and nurture them with care, for they are precious connections that add more depth and richness to your life. If you are open and looking for new friendships, I’m cheering you on! It can be hard to meet and connect with people. You got this!

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How Does Mindfulness Help With Stress?

March 18, 2024

Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help manage stress in our daily lives. By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to be fully present in the moment, acknowledging our thoughts and feelings without judgment.

This awareness allows us to better understand our reactions to stressors and choose how to respond in a more calm and constructive way. Mindfulness practices such as deep breathing, meditation, or yoga can help us cultivate a sense of inner peace and resilience in the face of stressful situations.

Remember, it’s important to be patient with yourself as you develop your mindfulness practice, and over time, you may find that you are better equipped to navigate the challenges that come your way with a greater sense of ease and clarity.

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Embrace Change and Growth: The Path of Self-Discovery

March 11, 2024

Self-discovery can be a transformative experience. It is a process of delving deep into our inner selves to uncover our true desires, values, and beliefs. Throughout this exploration, we often unearth hidden talents, passions, and strengths that may have been dormant within us.

Self-discovery is not just about understanding who we are in the present moment but also about reflecting on our past experiences and how they have shaped us. It involves being open to new possibilities, embracing change, and challenging ourselves to grow and evolve. By developing a deeper connection with ourselves and others, we can foster more meaningful relationships and a greater sense of fulfillment in our lives.

In a world that is constantly changing and evolving, taking the time to engage in self-discovery is a valuable investment in ourselves. It is a journey that is unique to each individual, filled with moments of reflection, insight, and growth. Embrace the process, trust in yourself, and allow self-discovery to guide you on a path towards authenticity and self-fulfillment.

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Relaxing at a Red Light

December 13, 2023

About six years ago on a Monday morning, I was on my way to work and stopped at a red light. While I waited, I could see myself looking at my hands. They were gripped tightly around the wheel at ten and two. My hands had probably done that countless of times before, yet this time felt different. I tracked the tension in my fingers wrapped around the wheel, then up into my forearms, through my upper arms, and finally into my shoulders where they held tight and close to my ears.

If my hands had words, they would say “anxious”, “worried”, and “uncertain.” My body was bracing for something in the future. To be fair, my body knew what a Monday at work would be like; chaotic, fast-paced, and many other unknown variables. Thank you body for watching out for me! However, as I experienced this body awareness moment, I also sensed a choice point emerging. I could continue to ignore what my body was telling me or I could listen and respond in a caring and supportive way. I chose the latter.

To begin, I slowly and gently began to ungrasp the wheel and then wiggled my fingers every so slightly. The small movement sent a flood of information through my arms to my shoulders that it was okay to let go and relax. The light turned green and off I went to work, slightly more at ease and a lot more aware.

For the year that followed, I took small steps that allowed me to move in a direction with work that was more aligned for me. I valued my mental, physical and emotional health, a sustainable career, and most importantly, my body’s wisdom. With each step I took, I was communicating back to my body, “I’m listening and I trust you.”

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Listen to the Body, Notice the Mind

August 23, 2021

Our body talks to us through sensations like temperature (warm, cool) or muscle sensations (trembling, fluttering). When we go through a stressful situation, our body has a stress response cycle (fight, flight, freeze, appease). If something blocks that cycle’s completion, stress and tension stay in the body. By listening to the body sensations around a particular situation, it can support the completion of the stress response cycle and reduce or relieve the stress and tension that it previously held. Give yourself a moment to try this.

Now shift your attention to your mind as you continue to listen to your body. Notice the quality of the thoughts that are connected to that sensation. You might see the tendency to judge it, analyze it, label it as “good” or “bad.” If it’s helpful, write it down so you can stay curious and observe what’s coming up.

This mindful awareness of body sensations and thoughts is a resource to you like anything else. It’s not meant to make what you’re feeling go away entirely, the intention is to lean into your body’s innate wisdom for healing.

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A Springtime View of Stuck

March 24, 2021

I’m stuck again. The frustration is building in my body, the pressure is there, but no release just yet. Then I remember, the feeling of stuck happens more often than not. When I’m in a more open space in my mind and body, I think that I’ve hit the jackpot and that things will always be flowing. I know it doesn’t work that way, but I forget because it feels so good.

Given that it’s springtime, I reflect on the feeling of stuck in a different way. Maybe whatever will emerge from this sensation isn’t ready to bloom just yet and the tension and stuckness is a sign that things are getting ready. A sense of anticipation emerges in my body. Using my imagination at this point, because the sensation is still stuck, how would it move if it could? What are the qualities of it – shape, texture, color, size?

Springtime gives space to hopefulness, play and discovery. As we transition into this season, I invite you to use your imagination and explore what’s happening in your body in relation to those themes. Go outside and let your eyes wander for a bit. Maybe some gentle movement brings another experience. Perhaps it’s about bringing quiet into the space so you can listen to what your body is telling you (i.e. sensations!). Stay curious and be kind to yourself this season and always.

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Working with Big Feelings

January 5, 2021

Over the past few days, I noticed my emotions come up like a slow moving current that was building in speed and intensity. Needless to say I was pulled in, tumbling around with the intense feelings moving through me.

I asked for help but that didn’t work out the way I thought it would so I got swept into the current again. Reaching out was important but it was as if holding on to the emotions was more comforting. I wasn’t ready to let that go of that familiarity just yet.

Speaking of letting go, Yung Pueblo describes it as “the moment when you are no longer reacting to things that used to make you feel tense…when you can release the energy attached to the thoughts.” After reading that, I noticed a spark of curiosity and hope. That was enough for me to take the smallest step back and notice all that was going on.

The same feelings will show up over and over again in different ways. Next time, I can remember to take some time and space to ground myself in the moment. With intention and practice, I can let go a bit more than the time before.

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Sitting With Mindful Awareness

March 2, 2020

When we feel stress or overwhelmed in our bodies, sometimes we want to do anything but sit with it. But here we are, with this invitation to be with what arises in our bodies, not ignoring it or avoiding it any longer. I feel the stress and overwhelming feelings stronger on certain days when my mind is especially active. Today, I decided to sit with it. Here’s what I noticed:

The Active Mind

As I sat, my mind kept saying “I need to do…”, “Don’t forget…”, “What if…”. To me, these thoughts sound like fear, worry, and unease. As much as I want to explore all that, I gently reminded myself that the thoughts are just “thinking” and brought my attention back to my breathing, back to my body.

Steady Breathing

When I brought my attention back to my breathing, I noticed that my breath was short, that I was holding in my abdomen, and my chest muscles were tense. My breathing definitely reflected what was going on in my body. So I slowed down my breathing, steadied the inhales and exhales, and breathed deeper into my lungs. As I slowed down, I breathed into the spaces that felt tight and tense.

Let Go of the Outcome

After sitting with it, I felt more relaxed and calm in my body. My breathing was steadier and my thoughts didn’t feel as urgent. I sat with what was coming up and I was okay! Sometimes after a meditation, the outcome isn’t always so positive and that’s okay as well. I’ve had times where I left a meditation with tears in my eyes and maybe even more frustrated and tense than before.

This invitation to be with whatever arises is a brave choice. It’s brave because you are choosing to do something that you may tend to ignore or avoid. You are choosing to turn towards it without being attached to the outcome, to be open with what comes up, and to do your best- whatever that looks like for you that day.

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