Category: Self-Discovery

Growing Up Again and Again

February 28, 2019

“The upside of falling down.”

This was the subject line of an email I received this week about the developmental tasks of 7 year olds. It’s all about making choices, learning from mistakes, and self-achieving success for that age range. I work with adults but often times we all need some “growing up” again. As an adult, with more internal and external resources and a full grown prefrontal cortex, I like the idea that I can help, support, and love on a younger version of me.
This is what a conversation between adult me and child me would sound like:
7 year old me- Makes a face, a hissing sound, and says “no” while still slightly curious.
Adult me, “Yes boo- take risks, make choices, and learn from your mistakes. You can figure things out and I love growing with you. Let’s do this!”
The process of failure and success bring big benefits to both versions of you- the adult and the child. Benefits include increasing connection with oneself, trusting intuition, learning new skills, and more healthy risk-taking behavior. Yes please!

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The Process of Trying New Things

May 9, 2018

I’m trying something new and I’m hooked! The first few times I went surfing, I had a great set of guides to help me be successful. They taught me as much as they could for the time that we were together. They encouraged me to go on my own at a different time with specific instructions to read the waves and connect to the water. It was different that time around though.  I felt alone, frustrated, I barely got up, and I definitely didn’t have a photo op like you see above. It’s all good though, I still believe there was something to learn even with that experience. Trying something new can be exciting and fun as well as disappointing and discouraging. I guess it’s safe to say that all sorts of feelings will come up during the process and that it’s okay and normal.

Reminders when trying new things:
BEGINNERS MIND- The beginner’s mind is fresh and awake to possibilities, free from a habitual pattern of behavior and thought. There is an opportunity for a different experience when you can settle into this space.
BE KIND TO YOURSELF- Relax the tension in the face and smile. A half smile (lifting the corners of the mouth) for 3 full breaths can ease stress and can also give space from the expectations of success.
ASK FOR HELP- Have a teacher, guide, or mentor? Doing things alone is important but so is asking for help. Learning new things is a different experience when you can ask questions, make informed decisions, and have people that will support you in the process.
Trust the process and enjoy the ride!

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Finding Your Way in Counseling

February 20, 2018

I had promised myself a hike today. I haven’t been on one in a while and it felt like a good way to recharge and/or work some stuff out. It also got me thinking about the narratives people use when they first start counseling.

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Self-Love Challenge Reflections

November 27, 2017

During November, I did a daily self-love challenge.  I lost momentum about twenty-one days into it. The focus of the challenge took a drastic turn one night when I yelled at my kids. I felt terrible for days and I couldn’t forgive myself for how I treated them. There was no way I could practice self-love at that point.

Wasn’t that what I was asking for this whole time? An opportunity to practice patience, forgiveness, and compassion? When I took my frustrations out on my kids that night, I felt self-critical and just plain shitty about myself and the situation. Did I deserve to go through a challenge of self-love or was it exactly what I needed? 

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Making Space for New Experiences

October 30, 2017

This past weekend I was feeling funky. I didn’t feel 100% in my body, and my clothes didn’t feel great on me either. It’s embarrassing to say, as this is a minuscule thing to be concerned about given all the things that are going on in the world, but I wanted to share anyways.

I would describe myself as a highly sensitive person. Things like the fit of my clothes and bodily sensations are like sirens going off when things aren’t just right. I understand that I can do things to manage my emotions such as shift perspectives (check!), create a gratitude list (done!), and practice coping strategies to manage the frustration (on it!), but even with all that, it didn’t take away the discomfort.

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